Why I Am Not a Lesbian

When I first started this blog, I made a point of writing something, anything, every day, even if it was really short, in order to get into a rhythm and establish something that I’d regret walking away from. Now I’ve sort of petered out, but I’ve done too much to let it drop. However, I’m much less ambitious, so I’m going to try to write something everyday even if it’s fairly trivial, but I’m only going to commit to a month.

I was surfing on the internet earlier and saw a video that made me think, “Ah, that’s why I’m not a lesbian.”

I’m probably too lazy.

Sometimes, in conversation, people make a reference to their sexual orientation. They’ll say, “As a straight person…” or “As a gay person…” or whatever. Then some point will come when I feel that a reference to my own orientation seems appropriate and I’ll choke a bit. I’ll be about to say, “As a bisexual….” Then I’ll think to myself, “Who are you kidding. You haven’t slept with a woman in years.” Especially with all the claims of special status for minorities, which makes me feel uncomfortable. I don’t really want people to judge what I say based on identity unless I’m speaking about my own experience. Then, I’ll be about to say straight, and I’ll think to myself, “Wait a second. You’re single. What if a really hot woman who’s into you hears that?” So, finally, I’ll say, “bisexual,” but not without feeling like I’m putting too fine a point on it.

But in the end, I sleep with men far, far more often than women. Why that is is answered in the following video at 3:57 and it made me laugh. (Also, I had that haircut in college.)