I’m an Atheist Because… Socks?

Have you ever read a post and you’re looking for the “sarcasm” or “humor” tag and you can’t find it? Sometimes, there’s an entire blog that is satirical. Usually, I’m pretty good at distinguishing the parody from the thing it’s parodying.  Right now, though, I’m scratching my head. If this isn’t a parody…. I think I’ve now heard it all.

I’ve never had a problem with drinking or drugs and, sometimes, when someone is providing a testimony to how they were saved by Jesus and the story the begins with lying in the gutter, I jokingly think to myself, “Ah, that’s why I haven’t met Jesus. I have been bad enough for him to take an interest in me.” Now, before someone tells me that I’ve misinterpreted these stories, I realize that. It’s just a little humorous thought that flits through my head and I usually keep to myself.

Now, I’ve just read a post in which a woman claims to see evidence for God in the fact that her socks disappear in the washing machine. Folks, I do not have this problem. I believe that I have in my entire life I’ve lost only two or three socks. I have never looked into a pile of mismatched socks and seen the face of god because I have no such pile.

Please help me, is this satire? Am I losing my sense of humor?

Proof that... I'm a slob. Dang, I've really got to do my laundry. Lucky for all of you that she didn't see the face of God in a pile of underwear, or you'd be looking at my dirty drawers right now.

Proof that… I’m a slob. Dang, I’ve really got to do my laundry. Lucky for all of you that she didn’t see the face of God in a pile of underwear, or you’d be looking at my dirty drawers right now.

  1. great material. I agree with a lot of your points.

    I would appreciate a view of my blog, I have some pretty controversial material on here. Thanks

  2. Daz said:

    Weird. Very very weird. I think it’s real, but with an attempt to be “quirky.”

  3. Very weird I must admit.
    My socks go missing on a roughly regular basis, I have never in my life thought a god would be involved. I think this is taking faith too far or rather taking irrational a notch higher

    • fojap said:

      Not a big, monotheistic god, to be sure, but maybe in minor demigod of some sort. Pedidios, Lord of the Feet, perhaps, annoyed that you haven’t paid your proper respects.

      • It must be I have failed to honor this lord. Now someone tell me the right sacrifice to perform

    • fojap said:

      I’ve never read anything by Terry Pratchett, although I know the name. On a more serious level, I think I’ve never had this sock problem because I’ve always lived in an apartment building with shared laundry facilities. There’s a tendency, at least for me, to check that you don’t leave anything behind. It would just be rude to drop socks in the corridor. Since I am a slob, it’s the only explanation I can think of.

  4. This poor lady has the wrong god! Odd socks are clear proof of the Invisible Pink Unicorn (may Her holy hooves never be shod).

    The IPU is not interested in humans, only laundry. If she visits you, she may bless your white laundry with Her sacred color. She will investigate socks to see if they are worthy by poking them with Her horn, and may leave holes there for you as a sign. For those socks she finds worthy, she raptures them directly to Sock Heaven, and you will never see them again. You can’t prove any of this is wrong, so it must be true, right?.

    (And I second the recommendation for Pratchett.)

    • fojap said:

      Oh my… my Unicorn. Do you know that once I put a pair of underpants in the laundry, I swear they were white when the went in, and they came out… pink! Do you think it was a sign?

      • Of course it was a sign! Wear them proudly, you have been blessed!

  5. vastlycurious.com said:

    Now I remember why I stopped following. I skip god and just safety pin all my socks 🙂

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